SILLY R/C DEFINITIONS
-----Courtesy of the Flying Penguin of S. Florida, Robert Osorio, Editor----
PROPELLER: Wood, plastic or composite device used to stabilize inferior landings.
TRAINER: Inexpensive throw-a-way device used by beginning pilots to scare instructors and spectators with.
INSTRUCTOR: Old pilot who loves flying and teaching others to fly...usually can not tell you how many planes he has crashed.
TAIL ASSEMBLY: Fragile device which has affinity for door frames during non-flight transport.
TRANSMITTER or RECEIVER FAILURE: Something which happens only on first flight of a plane (usually the last flight, too).
RUNWAY: Flat object used by student pilots to walk on to retrieve aircraft which "almost landed ok".
GLIDE-TIME (1): The time between the Engine falling out and the Airplane hitting the ground.
GLIDE-TIME (2): Time between the Wings folding and the airplane hitting the ground.
DUCTED-FAN: A high-maintenance salad shooter.
AEROMODELING : The art of turning precision-cut and glued balsa wood and foam into toothpicks and confetti.
AIRPLANE - Heavier than air machine that flies like it's heavier than air.
BALSA - An extremely light substitute for gold.
CRASH - Method of seeing inside a model airplane.
DINNER - A meal that is always cold by the time you get back from flying.
ELEVATOR - Device to prevent level flight.
ENGINE - Device that doesn't start when you want it to, and cuts your fingers.
FAIL SAFE - Option on PCM radio's that allows a pilot to choose whether to crash near him, or a long way away.
FLYING FIELD - Take off area. Landings occur elsewhere.
GIRLS - Something to be interested in before you take up flying.
HINGE - Device to prevent control surface movement and cause flutter.
INVERTED FLIGHT - Method of landing without wear and tear on the wheels.
JOKER - Person who invites you to "taxi back" after a dead stick landing.
LANDING - Test of strength between your plane and the planet.
LB. - Abbreviation for "pound", used to describe how much overweight an airplane is.
MIXTURE SCREW - Device to meter too little fuel to the engine at critical moments.
MOTOR - Electric device that starts when you don't want it to, and cuts your fingers.
NOSE WHEEL - Device that prevents an airplane from landing without bouncing.
PLUG - (1)-Electrical device for making intermittent contact in your engine's ignition.
PLUG - (2)-Electrical device for making intermittent contact with your radio.
RADIO - Device that enables an airplane to crash in different places than it otherwise would.
RECEIVER - Part of the radio system that picks up interference.
SKID - Another word for spinner.
SPINNER - Critical part of landing gear.
TANK - Temporary storage place for chemicals before they saturate the airplane.
RC Definitions (Courtesy John McDonald via the Internet)
ANGLE OF ATTACK - Direction from which you are hit after setting up a nice mid-air with your clubmate's new plane.
AUTOROTATION - What your car does on icy roads.
BALSA - What dreams were made of.
BALSA - Also: What P-51 pilots have a lot of.
BALSA STRIPPER - Lightweight female dancer, rhythmically removing covering, to show inner structure to drooling RC Pilots.
BLIND NUT - Judge at a pattern contest.
CARPET FIBER - When others are bragging about their high-tech composite planes and you have only the Gentle Lady you built on the floor of your two-room apartment, mutter quickly (under your breath), "YEP, THIS BABY'S REINFORCED WITH carpet FIBER!"
CRASH - Quick method of removing radio and engine from a model to fit them in your new one.
CRASH - Also: Synonym for "rekitting" a model
CENTER OF GRAVITY - Point in which G-forces, dedicated to separating wing from fuselage, do their stuff.
COMPUTER - Device that enables you to make mistakes at the speed of light.
CYANOACRYLATE - Special glue, designed to instantly glue fingers to balsa structures.
CYANOACRYLATE - Also : Special glue, instantly curing when parts are misaligned, will hardly (if at all) cure when parts are correctly aligned.
CYANOACRYLATE - Also : Substance used to make eyes water profusely at critical points in construction.
CYANOACRYLATE - Also : Stuff usually dripping on your clothes, turning them into armor and you into a modeler knight.
DEAD STICK - Two of these can be found on your transmitter after failing to properly charge your batteries.
DEAD STICK - Also : The Yucca your aunt gave you to clear the air in your shop after 3 months lack of water.
ENGINE - Device designed to make noise. Will suddenly stop making this noise when beyond glide-in distance.
EPOXY - The stuff that has replaced the balsa after the flying season.
FAIL SAFE - Option on PCM radio's that allows a pilot to choose whether to crash near him, or a long way away.
FIREWALL - Removable part of fuselage. Comes off on landing.
FLARE - What someone has when they're good enough to show off.
FLARE - Also: Beginner's luck.
FLYING WING - To be seen after too tight a loop.
FUEL TANK - Plastic bottle, designed to leak when placed in totally inaccessible locations.
FUSELAGE - Optional interconnecting structure between wings and engine.
FUSELAGE - Also: Receptacle into which the R/C pilot stuffs money in the hope that his plane will fly better.
GLITCH - What you holler when you pull up elevator while flying inverted at 10 ft. altitude.
GRAVITY - Force of nature designed to reduce aircraft to their component parts.
LANDING GEAR - Structure to separate fuselage from runway after landing. Does not always succeed in doing so.
LANDING - Comes in multiple forms
GOOD - The plane comes in contact with the ground, and all bits are still there. (rare form)
AVERAGE - The plane comes in contact with the ground, and most bits are still there. (most common form)
BAD - The plane comes in contact with the ground, and all bits have grown in number but diminished in size. (common form)
LUCK - Comes in multiple forms:
PLAIN Very sparse on your side, but plenty with your flying buddies only they refer to it as SKILL.
TOUGH This is what you usually have. Your flying buddies refer to it as lack of skill.
BAD Same as TOUGH.
GOOD What you need the most.
MEAN AIR CHORD - That nasty minor eighth note caused when your wings snap on launch and whack together.
MIXTURE SCREW - Device to meter too little fuel to engine at critical moments.
MONOKOTE - The thing that ruins every ounce of hard work that you put into a plane to make it look nice.
NOSEWHEEL - Implement used to remove firewall.
O.S. - Initials of the two words that an r/c pilot says when he loses control going straight down.
PATTERN PLAN - Make a copy of the plans so when it crashes, you have the patterns to build another one.
PROPELLER - Rotating knife that cuts holes in the air, which the aircraft falls into, thus propelling the aircraft.
PROPELLER - Also : Handy tool to cut away excess skin on knuckles.
PROP NUT - What Glider pilots call Power pilots.
P-51 MUSTANG - What beginners use to learn to fly.
RADIO- Expensive electronic device to randomly alleviate overcharged batteries.
RADIO GLITCH- Documented Electronic occurance, causing immediate and irrepairable loss of control.
RADIO GLITCH- Also : The source of any crash when there is a possibility of someone else's radio in close proximity to the plane.
SWEPT AREA - The only part of your apartment not covered in balsa dust.
WETTED AREA - After Rex the Wonderdog finds the swept area.
TAIL-DRAGGER - R/C pilot who has spent an hour looking for his plane in a forest. See also "glitch".
THERMAL - Mythical occurence of rising air - usually where one's sailplane is not.
TRAINER CORD - Handy device for electronically instilling false confidence in rookie pilots.
TREE - Implement used to separate Wings from Fuselage. See also "glitch".
SINK - Non-mythical meteorological event stimulated by rc soaring contests.
SNAP ROLL - After a nice hard G roll, something SNAPS (usually and most likely the wing). Aerodynamic ability will slightly diminish.
STALL - Score Gravity: 1 , Mr. Bernoulli: 0 .
TIP STALL - Offering several minutes worth of unrequested advice to a nearby pilot INSTEAD of taking your turn to launch off the winch; used when sink is in the air and contest points are at stake. See 'sandbagging'.
UPWIND TURN - Same as DOWNWIND TURN. . . . NO it isn't ! YES it is ! NO it isn't ! YES it is ! NO it isn't ! YES it is ! IS NOT ! IS TOO ! IS NOT ! IS TOO ! IS ..... etc. etc. etc.
WING - Device that, due to it's airfoil, allows air to flow faster over the top, thereby allowing you the opportunity to pour excess funding into the resulting low-pressure area.
WING AREA - What you get more of in the car by leaving the wife at home.